Archive for February 2009

me

February 28, 2009

I’ve needed to write for awhile, but haven’t had the time.  There isn’t much going on, but it’s a release to get it all down on paper.

FB2 is doing well.  We talk regularly and he is still talking about coming to Texas at the end of March.  I’m nervous about that, but he has been very cool about it.  He asks me periodically if I’m okay with it and reminds me he’s okay with delaying the visit if it makes me feel comfortable.  He is also booking a hotel room, without me bringing it up, for his visit. 

That helps so much because I’m a scaredy cat.  I’m afraid I won’t be attracted to him in person, although I find him attractive and sexy in his photos and conversation.  I’m afraid his motives aren’t pure.  I’m afraid we won’t be compatible in person.  I’m afraid he won’t find me attractive in person.  I’m afraid.

So it helps that he is calling this his chance to see my town.  That he’s planning to stay in a hotel.  That he calls me on my drive in to work.  That he called me last night while out with his friends.  That he later that night called me again to catch me before I went to bed.  It helps that we talk about all kinds of things very honestly.  It helps that I can be my goofy self and it’s ok.  I think that’s what I remember most about our first phone call.  I felt like such a goofball afterwards because I was just being me, no first call facade…and he still called again.  lol

happy valentine’s day

February 15, 2009

I had the best Valentine’s Day!

FB2 (Facebook 2) and I talked from 10 p.m. the night before to 5 a.m. on Valentine’s Day.  Lots of good getting to know you conversation.

C. invited me to brunch later in the day.  That turned into a girls’ day of shopping and movies (Taken is really good!).  We wrapped up the night with sushi at Pirhana’s (delicious!) and a signature drink (The Sexytini).  Yum!

My Valentine’s Day was perfect because it was a go with the flow, relaxing day.  I need more of those. 🙂

good news

February 9, 2009

I weighed myself this morning and I’m only up 2 lbs from my travels. I don’t think it’s that much really because I hadn’t had my morning poop (sorry, lol).

Yay! I am on track this morning. I have my gym bag with me and I am eating really well this morning. Pears for breakfast, salmon and steamed veggies for lunch. I am determined to lose my 5 lbs for this month (and to reclaim the 2 lbs gained from last month). I’ll write more on this later, but I am signing up for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day. That is my marker for reaching my fitness goal for the year. I plan to be down 30 lbs by summer, but I want to do more than lose weight. I want to be fit and healthy and STRONG!

Just checking in. I’ll write more later.

men

February 8, 2009

I guess men must need love because all of mine have reappeared. They definitely could’ve stayed where ever they were. I didn’t miss them and those I missed, I now see I shouldn’t have.

The first to reappear was R. I got a text message from him saying he missed me. Really. Then a few days later, I got a text which I pretty much feel was a booty call. Peppy, asking how I was doing, asking if I was out, saying he missed us, not calling when I say, I’m in for the night, feel free to call.

Yeah.

I’m over him. He allowed what could’ve been a great relationship to reduce to this. He stopped trying months ago and now only reappears because he wants to sleep with me. He’s not interested in having a relationship and I’m not interested in what he’s selling. His number will remain deleted from my phone. I’m just not sure why the world has devolved to the point where men and women are just looking for sex from one another and there is no thought that anyone would want more.

Next comes Facebook, which we will now call FB1. FB1 sent me an email all peppy and friendly and I responded in kind. We agreed on a gym date, scheduled for today. Last night he asks if I can meet him at the gym around midnight when he gets off of work. Uh, no. I was out with my friends. Then he suggests Sunday at midnight. Uh, no. I have a job to go to on Monday. WTF. Finally, he resorts to the name calling, “let me know ms busy body”. Isn’t being called a busy body like being called something negative? He’s famous for that. Little names and characterizations that in any context is usually a negative. Yeah, he’s gone too.

The icing on the cake is the return of the Ex. I won’t even take the time to explain the destruction he brought to my life, but he pops up asking me to friend him on Facebook. My first response was hell no. Why bother? I don’t want him to be a part of my life. He is a liar, a gossip, a child, a freak, a loser, and an immature ass. And no, I’m not biased, lol. These are just the facts. I don’t want that near me.

I haven’t responded to his request because I wanted to think about it and this is the first time I’ve had a chance to do so. I’m sure he has his motives. I’m not interested in having anything with him. I see no purpose in it. It’s not because I can’t be associates with him, hence my decision to think about it before denying his request, I just realize in my new found enlightenment that I have no reason to have excess weight around me. This is the year to focus in on real relationships and build solid relationships. It’s the year to remove the fringe.

So what do I do? Do you add the former jerk in your life to be your friend on Facebook? I’m thinking no.

Finally, there’s Facebook 2 (FB2). He’s still doing well. I wish he lived here. We have great conversations about everything from our favorite cartoons to freaky outfits. I am enjoying the friendship and hope it continues to grow.

Despite it all, I’m still single and will be spending Valentine’s Day on my own. I’m more than fine with that. I’ll work out. Watch movies. Relax. If my girlfriends want to get together, great. I’ll probably even go see a movie with my guy friends, but I’ll be ok being alone and not tied to anyone who isn’t sincere. That, in my book, is a great Valentine’s Day.

life on the road

February 8, 2009

It’s amazing how much can happen even when you’re not in town.

The short of my life these past few weeks is below. I’ll flesh it out as we go.

My trip to L.A. was great. The weather was gorgeous and I got a lot out of both my work and my free time. Work was great. I gained a lot of insight from my peers, including one who was kind enough to give me advice on what I might do next in my career. I say kind because it takes effort for someone to listen to your background and to process and develop advice on what might be in my best interest in the future. Not only did he offer career direction, but he also suggested additional training that might get me there. I definitely will be considering his opinion and will most certainly follow his suggestions regarding additional training. In addition, another person shared his reading list and advice on how to grow as a leader. I see many leaps and bounds of growth for me professionally from this experience. A perfect fit for the direction I want to have for my life this year.

L.A. wasn’t all work. I got to see the sites and had a hotdog at Pink’s. I am a HUGE hotdog fan and to make the pilgrimage to Pink’s was definitely a milestone. lol I can’t wait to go back. I loved hanging out in L.A. Private parties on rooftops, all you can eat and drink, wine waiting when you walk in the door, private rooms, new friends. The weather alone is enough to make you ease into the laid back lifestyle. Despite how great it was, it helped reinforce how much Dallas has become home and how great it is I get to live here. We may not have all of the weather, but we definitely have a great quality of life.

I was in town a day before I left to go out of town again. This time I had more down time. The information gained wasn’t as good as what I found in L.A., but it was something I had to do, so it served it’s purpose. The best part of the trip was going with a friend and getting an unexpected night out on the town. Five clubs, free drinks, VIP access, and a driver to take us home. I say it was a perfect night, lol.

Weight loss. I have no idea how much I weigh, but I’m guessing after weeks of indulgence and travel, I am no where near what I was before I left. It’s ok. I am now back in town and back to a regular schedule. I also have a new challenge ahead which I’ll get into later.

I’m going to save the personal stuff for my next post. I will say that my life has been fantastic these past few weeks. I grew so much in my understanding of what I need to do now that I’m back in town. I am grateful for the experiences I’ve had and look forward to applying them this year.