Archive for June 1, 2009

day 37

June 1, 2009

8 a.m. (Meal #1): oatmeal, blueberries

11 a.m. (Meal #2, heavy snack): granola, non-fat milk

2 p.m. (Meal #3): southwestern corn soup, saltines (7), pineapples

5 p.m. (Meal #4, light snack): artichokes

7 p.m. (Meal #5): turkey meatloaf, sweet potato, salad

9 p.m. (Light Snack): mixed fruit

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still single

June 1, 2009

I wonder when that will change. It’s not normal to be 34 and alone.

fb2 has been enjoying a full weekend with his circle. That usually means limited, if any contact. It’s like he thinks because I know what he’s doing and because his plate is full, he doesn’t have to email or text me until the weekend ends.

On one hand, it’s cool because he is very forthcoming in what he’s doing. Plus with Face.book, you can’t hide much, lol. Folks post pics and tag relentlessly.

On the other hand, I’m not interested in a light, fun, fling with someone. I want a relationship. I want to be thought of and considered daily, not when life is quiet and there isn’t much else to do. I appreciate having a full plate and not being available as a result, but being on someone’s radar – being missed, while in the midst, is what I need.

I’m glad I have other things to focus on. I just wish I could find someone to share it with besides C. and a blog.

excursions into the real world

June 1, 2009

This weekend was an excursion into the real world. Definitely a scary place. My biggest challenge was a visit to the Cheesecake Factory with friends last night. They have a great new small plate menu, so that helped. I ended up with a tuna tartar (kind of a mini ahi tuna tower), fried artichokes (bad), and a slice of cheesecake (super bad!). I shared the artichoke when I saw it was deep fried and I only nibbled at the cheesecake, so not too bad, but the experience definitely made an impression.

I felt slightly terrified that I was in the situation without a life jacket. I thought through all of my Fat Smash lessons and it helped, but there was still this feeling of not wanting to make a big deal of eating healthy on a fun night out with friends. I kept thinking, I’m always on a ‘diet’ and I never show results. I’ll seem like a joke. Now logically, I know this wouldn’t be true, but internally, I just didn’t want to stand out.

In hindsight, I should’ve orderd the tuna tartar and a glass of wine and I would’ve been fine. Instead, I ordered what they had and felt icky. At least I didn’t eat it all and I have plans to workout twice today. It is definitely a lesson learned. I have to stick to my program regardless of the crowd. Thankfully there is always something on the menu (generally speaking) and I have to work hard to find those items AND stick to them. I don’t want anything to slow down my progress.