finally, part 2

I’m still processing my conversation with fb2. It was a good conversation for us to have prior to his visit. It reminds me that I’m not that special. I’m just another woman for him to experience. I don’t mean that to be negative. He should probably be the same for me. It’s just I don’t have those kinds of options.

So what now? I think I need a break. I’ve never been one to pursue him, so it’s not so much not calling him. I just need to detach from the feelings I’ve formed because it appears that I may be starting to feel too much for where we are. I’m not sure how you don’t feel when you talk to someone almost daily who is planning a 5 day trip to see you, but that seems to be the way of the world.

I have a full weekend with friends planned, so that will help. I need to explore and invest in my other options – not necessarily men, just other life options – that take my focus off of him. I don’t want to punish him for being honest, but I do need a minute to adjust. I’m not in love, but I do like him and even like is some investment that can lead to hurt when hearing you are just an option.

I just need to get my focus back on my life and let him fit in where he can. I’m sure that’s probably counterproductive, but what can a woman do? Men can send flowers or ratchet up the affection to sway a woman’s interest. What can women do but keep on living and wait to be engaged? It’s a pretty sucky system if you ask me.

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