too many demands, too little reward

I know change doesn’t happen overnight. I just wish I could see some benefits along the way.

Thoughts for today:

– fb2 is going into friend category. He’s a man who is exploring his options and I’m a woman who knows what she wants. When he decides, I’ll re-evaluate what category he should be in.

– I joined E-Harmony. I don’t think I’ll find anything there, but I need more men in my atmosphere. I’m good with just finding cool people. Variety keeps your mind from connecting (fb2’s problem, because we were hot and heavy until recently. One minute he is head over heels because I am into him, the next he’s talking about working out and the other women he’s interested in.)

– My house is going to get in order. If fb2 doesn’t come for Labor Day, I’m still going to take the vacation and work on my home. Time to open up the house.

– I’m going to eat better. I am going to lose this weight. I know that I’ll be invisible to men until I do. If I really want to be married, I have to accept that my personality isn’t going to do it. It’s time out for man after man to think I’m this amazing person, but not think I’m someone they want to be with and not let get away.

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