should i be hurt?

fb2 just posted online in a group we’re on together that he bought con.d.oms a few weeks ago.

Now on one hand I’m hurt because of the obvious.  Surely he didn’t buy them to use with me.

On the other hand he knows I am in the group I and would see it.  I’m left wondering did he buy them to use with me or does he not see us as being coupled up in a way that would lead him to think I don’t have a say in whether he buys them or who he uses them with.  He can’t think I wouldn’t care…

A week ago we had a conversation about con.d.oms and how he should be prepared during his visit – didn’t mean it was going to happen, but I’d rather be prepared than to risk being unprepared in any fashion.  And I bought them back in January with not even a hint of a prospect in mind.  I actually had the thought that I’d buy them just to see if they got used by the end of the year.  Just saw them and bought them.  lol

*sigh*

I hate liking anybody.  It’s just too much of a risk with your heart.  I’m always left wanting to just leave it alone and avoid the inevitable heartache.

Logic tells me that he wouldn’t dare put on the list that he’s bought con.d.oms if they were for some other girl, but dammit if men aren’t logical, lol.

*double sigh*

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2 Comments on “should i be hurt?”

  1. Thkchk Says:

    Where to begin with this one?
    I don’t think you should be hurt, feel hurt, allow any negativeness from his post to upset your applecart. He’s showing you who he is and where he is at this point.

    A. I don’t know why he’d post that information to the group unless it was relevant to something posted already.

    B. At least he’s showing that he’s thinking ahead and taking responsibility–with whom? That’s to be determined.

    C. Is this a relationship that is even strong enough to be “needing” said items. [maybe i’m just old–LOL]

    D. Relatiionships are risky–there’s always the possibility that someone may get hurt. That’s the chance you take when you allow someone else access to your heart.

    E. Getting to know someone “WELL” is a pain in the glutes. You have to figure out how much to give and even how much to take. Where’s the relationship going and are you both walking on the same path? If so, if you get to a fork in the road can you agree on which road to take?

    I don’t know the whole fb2 story but LDRs can work for some and for others it’s a nightmare.

    side note: I doubt he was even “thinking” when he posted and if you were to ask he’d have that “Whaaaaaaat” response.

    Don’t let him believe that he’s all you have to think about. Don’t give him the power to control your emotions.

  2. TwentyTwo Says:

    Thanks for your input. It’s nice to have feedback.

    Thankfully it was relevant to the conversation. We were talking about the high price of bi.rth con.trol in a world where disease and unplanned children are rampant.

    I don’t know if the relationship is where it needs to be for ‘that’ to be important. We’ve been getting to know each other for seven months. Is any length of time long enough?

    I feel confident in what I know about him. He likes me, but the distance is an issue. The question remaining on the table is will it mean no go for us or will we hold on and try to make it work. I think his visit will help with that question.

    For now ‘that’ isn’t a given or a dominant part of our conversation. He will be in town for a week and we are having responsible conversations about it all. I like to ask questions and have discussions before it’s on the table. No one should wait until the heat of the moment to know what you’re dealing with healthwise or to confirm safety practices. 🙂 We’ve both said that we are fine visiting each other without being intimate. We are both pretty good at the getting to know you stuff. Our main goal for his visit is to have the same funny, deep conversations we have on the phone and to let him see my world.

    I’m sensitive and have a jealous streak, so I know I tend to take everything personally (I’m a Cancer. We are so sensitive, lol). Thankfully I keep it in check and use these challenges to my advantage. I’m taking my time, going with what I see, not what I think, and continuing to keep my options open. The only problem is that my heart isn’t as logical, but so far I’m holding on to it.


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