love and consequence

For every loving act, there is a man who freaks the hell out as a result.

Valentine’s day was lovely!  Actually it would be more accurate for me to recount Valentine’s weekend as I was appreciated all weekend long.

On Friday, despite the snow, I received a dozen beautiful roses from my Dad.  Every since my thyroid induced meltdowns about being 30s and single, I’ve gotten flowers from him on V-day and my birthday.  The roses were truly awesomely beautiful.  BF checked the card and was very impressed with Dad.

I spent Saturday at BF’s, I think.  I recall us watching the slam dunk contest.  I saw kid sister again when we went over her house for a brief second.  It’s surreal to hang with his family.  It’s like two different worlds colliding and everybody being polite and careful until we figure it all out.  More on collisions later.

Sunday, he arrived at my place to enjoy a Wii smack down.  We ended up catching up on the DVR.  It’s all a blur at this point.  I gave him his V-day gift.  Normally I am completely convinced V-day is for the girls, but I wanted to give him something.  For the past two months, he hasn’t let me lift a finger and for once I was able to get something in on him.  I gifted him the black Wii remote he’d been salivating over for the past few weeks.  I know it was the right thing because he did a very big happy dance and proceeded to hold it for most of the time we were watching t.v.

He’d given me Sade’s and Jahiem’s new cd the day before, so we were both giddy with V-day delights.  On Monday, we played enough Wii to leave both my arms sore for two days after, watched more DVR, and after dinner at Pirhana’s went shopping in Uptown.  It was nice getting back out in the world with BF.  We’ve been in hibernation a little too much.  Holding hands while hanging out was nice.  Every girl should walk the mall while holding hands with her man.  It’s an awesome experience.  lol

Tuesday, when I thought we’d concluded the V-day festivities, I received the most awesome Edible Arrangement at work.  Turns out this was one of my gifts to be received prior to V-day, but the snow messed that up.  BF worked over time to get the delivery changed at the very last minute to Tuesday (since I wasn’t due back at work until then).  The ladies in the office were atwitter at the chocolate covered strawberries, pineapples, melons, etc.  The best part was the card, which read “Everyday with you is Valentine’s Day.”

*swoon*

BF came over last night and we laughed about the events of the day.  Then came our first major issue.  I won’t detail it here, but it’s been brewing for a few weeks and I guess last night it was time for it to come to a head.  There was no arguing, just lots of expressing.  By today we were both a little sore from the experience, but neither one of us let go of the other.

Recounting it now, I’m less sore than I was this morning, but I am not sure what happens next.  I get the sense that we have to back up a bit to grow some more before we continue down the road.  I’m ok with that.  If we can’t get over the bumps, we don’t stand a chance.  I’m hoping some time this week we can just sit.  We probably could stand to heal a little before we talk.  Perhaps we’ll just make the changes we both seem to understand we need and things will move forward, but my hope is that we discuss the underlying factors as well.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll be able to shake the feeling that things could fall apart the next time.

We aren’t dealing with anything big, it’s all in the handling of it.  If we don’t communicate, we are headed towards failure.  If we do, there might be hope yet.

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