Archive for July 2010

heaven is…

July 30, 2010

…BF in my kitchen cooking me dinner on a Friday night.  *sigh*  Love that man.

resolved

July 26, 2010

I finally thought through the funny feeling I’ve been having and realized what was bothering me.  I needed more.  I am a super affectionate person when it comes to relationships.  I don’t want to get on anybody’s nerves, but I do like to be hugged, kissed, and touched. 

Well, BF is reserved.  He holds my hand, kisses me often, and loves to spoon.  I just want more.  So I told him. 

So this morning as he left for work I got lots of kisses big and small and he got lots of giggles from me.

All is right in the world.

BF and I are so easily compatible, but that is our one difference.  His loving comes in bursts, whereas mine is given all the time.  If I don’t see him for two days, I can count on him grabbing me after we’ve eased into the evening for a passionate kiss.  Me on the other hand, I attack him as soon as he walks through the door and will go nonstop until I wear myself out, lol.  I try to balance myself and not smother him in kisses and I guess he’ll have to work on balancing himself so that I get my kiss/hug/snuggle quota.

A successful relationship really requires great communication.  There are so many needs, vents, jokes, comments, situations, and personalities that play into what happens between two people.  Without good communication, it would be impossible to successfully navigate any of it.

BF and I are locked in solid.  The tide may turn tomorrow, but I can say for sure that we both have our eyes on a future together.  I’m looking forward to every minute.

uneasy

July 22, 2010

I don’t know what it is, but I feel uneasy.  I guess we’ll see what my spidey sense is picking up on at some point.

a reminder

July 20, 2010

I was just reminded that nothing is guaranteed forever, even things that are for a moment in time so very perfect.

BF said the only thing he could see breaking us up was age.  Now I’m sure cheating might make the list, but tonight he said age.  He is 32 (will be 33 in October).  I am 36 (as of June).  He worries we don’t have time.  Translation – he doesn’t have time to establish himself to where he wants to be before marriage.

I know he loves me, but will he one day decide to let me go because of time?  Can all of this be just short of true, unconditional?

I have faith in God’s plan.  What he has given me is something no one can take away, but today I’m left a little bruised, wondering if one day this may all go away – not because we don’t love each other, but because he thinks a job, a savings account or some other materialistic thing defines being ready for a life together.

a beautiful life

July 19, 2010

On Saturday, all my worlds came together.  BF and I met up with my friends and BF’s sister and her husband for a night on the town.  We had so much fun!  As we sat around eating, drinking and laughing; I just felt amazing being surrounded by so much love and friendship. 

Life with BF is so delicious.  I look forward to everything we have ahead of us.  It’s definitely a blessed, beautiful life.

in mourning

July 15, 2010

Today I seem to be mourning my single life.  While I love BF and I am 1 million percent happy being with him, I am finding myself a little sad to have lost my single life.  No more spur of the moment happy hours, late nights, or girls trips – without thinking of someone else.

But then again, no more being on the scene, tired of the same old nothing, wondering when I’ll find love, and wondering if I’ll ever get married.

I’m so glad BF is so consistently what I need.  It makes it easier to move on to this new phase of life.  Having him grab me and kiss me over and over again as he walks into my house – having him take out the trash – seeing him go outside of his comfort zone for me – having his family miss me when I’m not there – having our families like each other so much – having BF there to say, “Don’t worry.” when I wonder if this is really as great as it feels….

While it doesn’t help with mourning my previous fabulousness, it does show me that I am entering a new and amazing fabulousness with BF.  I just have to figure out what this new fab looks like for me – a formerly, perpetually single girl in the City.

the hair

July 7, 2010

I’m still on the natural hair journey.  I’ve just been less absorbed.  Lately I’ve been patiently waiting for this awful layered hair cut to grow out.  This cut dates back to February when my beautician gave me another big chop.  I think the reason was a mix of bad braids (I should’ve listened to my beautician, not my inexperienced friend) and my beautician (ah, no one’s perfect) not seeming to get that my hair just isn’t kinky coily and cutting more off to ‘get rid of relaxed ends’.

I’m four months post cut and I now have fullness again, if not length.  Sadly the top of my head is growing so slowly that I have spiky short pieces in the top and ever growing long pieces on the sides and bottom.  I’m continously cutting to keep some semblance of a style. *sigh*

The good news is that my hair is healthy and I’ve learned to do it myself in 30 minutes or less.  My routine was further enhanced this weekend when my Mom brought me a new product, that I dare say is a miracle product for me.  I’ve thrown it in with my usual products and have had great results.  

Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum

Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum

I definitely feel like my hair dries much faster.  Best of all, I seem to have better results with my flat iron (straighter with less heat and less reversion) and new electric hot comb.  When, if ever, I finally get some length, I will definitely be able to pull off great hair at home.