Posted tagged ‘relationships’

i’m here!

June 29, 2010

But barely.  As I’ve said before I need blog freshness, but I just don’t want to let this blog go.  I’ve started another blog – *gasp* – but I’m not ready to share just yet.  In fact, when I do share, it will only be with those who actively follow this blog, so comment if you want to journey to the next episode. 🙂

But until I’m ready to shift into a new phase more completely, I will be sure to update here from time to time.  This blog still has the complete story, so to speak, so I won’t let go of it soon.

Updates!

My birthday was amazing!  The Friday night even turned out to be a good mixed crowd.  BF came out to support and I just felt like I had it all.  It feels good to be so comfortable with where you are in life.

Saturday, BF took me to dinner at an exclusive restaurant.  To recount the highlights – I had a special dinner with BF overlooking the City; there was cherries jubilee at our table; the food was amazing; the band played Happy Birthday and Pretty Woman for me; and the maitre d’ pulled me aside to inform me that BF’s family loved me, especially his mother, and to ask when was the wedding date, lol.

It has been a perfect birthday and week.  I’m extremely happy and I hope it never ends.

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birthday celebrations

June 23, 2010

I have so much to catch up on.  I am busy busy busy celebrating my 36th(!) birthday!  I just had to take a minute to praise BF.  We were talking on the phone as we both drove home from work and the conversation turned to my birthday happy hour on Friday. 

The invitation list is shaping up to be mostly, if not all women…all my close girlfriends.  Well, BF never wants to be at an all girl’s thing, so I mentioned to him that he didn’t have to come…and HE said, no, I’m coming by anyway to support you.  He said, if it’s an all girl thing, he’ll stay for a minute and then go get into something else.

*swoon*

I am so used to being on my own and not asking anyone for anything.  And to have someone who just has your back is such an amazing feeling.

six months…and some change

June 13, 2010

BF and I have been together six months!  And it’s still as good as the first day.  It’s been hectic with his family being in town this past week and a half, but when they leave, we are going to have to find some ‘us’ time to celebrate.

While I’ve been close to guy friends for a length of time, this is the first time I’ve made it to six months feeling like this is going to be something amazing.  I have this little rule with myself that I have to see six months before I really believe that a relationship will take.  I guess I was right because this one made it to the milestone and is good, strong, and wonderful.

I have never felt so loved and taken care of in my life by someone who isn’t my blood relative.  He said on day one that he was someone who would be my best friend and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

how to have everything…and then some

June 8, 2010

As I marvel at my current state of affairs, I also feel a sense of confidence and entitlement.  I can honestly say at this moment in time I have it all, and I make no apologies or excuses for it.  I deserve every bit of it.

I’ve always been the girl who wasn’t quite skinny enough, even when I was skinny I didn’t feel I was.  I was never the fastest with the boys or the coolest, even as I always seemed to be in the clique.  I never had the best wardrobe and was probably a great candidate for nerddom if it wasn’t for my attitude which just didn’t care to fit in to begin with.

I’ve always been a girl on my own path.  I was friends with who I wanted to be friends with.  I wore what I wanted to wear.  I followed the foundation laid out by my parents, even when they weren’t around.

So I  went to school, didn’t drink, spent my money wisely, and lived life the way I was raised to in the church.  That didn’t stop me from going to the parties, kicking it with the cool kids (lol), or having a hell of a time living life.  I just did it my way.

As I got older, I started to wonder whether I’d done things right.  I was entering my 30s, still perpetually single, while dating.  I always had a man’s interest, but they never really had mine.  I always knew the ones that were going to be temporary and just enjoyed the friendship and fun.  Some I thought were going to be around for awhile, but I still knew they didn’t meet the standards I knew were meant for me.

See I have good relationship examples.  My parents are awesome.  They are friends who allow each other to grow while loving and living a lifetime commitment to one another.  I knew what I need to find and never really felt the need to compromise.

And so I turn 35.  And although I’d been talking to two great guys over the past few months (not at the same time, lol), I still knew I hadn’t met the one. 

Then came BF.

And he validated everything I ever knew (and didn’t know, but had my Mom to remind me)…I am meant to find love. 

Now the question is why?  Because I’m sure I’ve written on this subject before, but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about why BF and I work well together.

Primarily we work well together because we have the same family background and belief system.

I believe in the traditional roles of men and women – not the sexist roles, but the idea that men and women support one another in a way that is unique to each gender.  For example, know your man.  Love him as he is.  Support him.  And allow him to do the same for you.  Men have needs that are unique to them.  I give BF that.  I don’t need to be the man in the relationship.

However, I am the woman.  I learned how to be that very well from my Mom.  I don’t have to be loud or demanding.  I don’t have to ask.  I just have to love and support.  If a man wants to be with me, he’ll do everything he can to do so, and BF does.

What else?  Well, I’ve worked on me over the years.  I have taken the time to learn from my relationships, to observe successful relationships, to know myself, and to find my own strength to expect what is best for me at all times.  BF knows that while I don’t ask for a thing, I always expect his respect and care.  I told him many times when we were first dating, that the only thing he had to do was take good care of me.  Whatever his version of that is, is for me to decided is good enough.   He’s never failed me yet.

So, I have it all at this moment in time because I am blessed.  God created this and we both believe in his guidance for our relationship.   We also recognize we must give to our relationship – trust, time, commitment, support, love…all those things are our active tasks.  I recognize my role – I cook for him, I provide a place of peace for him, I support him by doing things that are important to him like spending time with his family, I take care of him, I respect him, I love him through action.  He also believes firmly in his role.  He always takes care of me, if he eats, I eat.  I am his first consideration.  He protects me.  He cares for me.  And as he puts it, he works to be my best friend.

So, in the end, there is no big secret to it.  I’m still the same overweight woman I’ve always been.  I still haven’t perfected life.  But I have gotten to know myself and found my foundation.  That is what attracted BF to me…and what attracts me to him.  Even the best looking, richest man has needs to be met, as does his female counterpart.  Meeting those needs in a person, from a place of honesty, creates a very powerful bond.  There is nothing better in the world than someone volunteering to be on your team and playing their heart out for you.

Whether BF and I make it to marriage or not, I know he is the one. We both have areas to grow in, but I have yet to meet someone I’d rather grow with than him.

mystery solved!

May 14, 2010

BF sent me chocolates! Yum. 🙂

chocolates

His card read, “A little something to remind you, I still think about you just as much as when we first met!!”

I am officially declaring BF the best boyfriend ever created!

what does coconut have to do with it?

May 12, 2010

BF is planning a surprise for me. Yes, I’ve figured him out and now know when he asks these random questions like, “Do you like coconut?” and for my work address (again, lol), that there is a surprise in store.

The only question I have is what is the occasion? I suppose there doesn’t have to be one, but the suspense of when it will come kills me! 🙂

Today is our 5 month anniversary! I am so happy I could pop. Every month just gets better. I love every inch of him – his opinionated ways, his bad boy past (to hear him tell it, lol), his love and care, his sense of responsibility towards me, his dependability, his love…

Every day I allow it to sink in even more that he is mine. Definitively so.

I am happy to be his.

so much for that

May 5, 2010

Well, BF and I only made it a day on our plan to take some time away to get caught up no our own lives, lol.  He came over after work yesterday and we watched 24 (our obsession) and worked on our 500 piece puzzle (we do lots of stuff like that, lol). 

I missed him!  I don’t think we’ll be taking any breaks again.  We’ll just have to not try to do some much all the time.  instead, maybe we’ll just lounge more so we aren’t so worn out from running.

This weekend BF is taking me to a local theater that has nothing but love seats!  Love it!  We are going to snuggle up and watch Iron Man.  My baby is such a good date planner. 🙂

In between, I’m going to scrub my house and get caught up.  We did talk about carving out time to do our errands, etc and I’m going to stick to that.  Saturday morning will be my time to scrub the house, run the errands, and Sunday we are both going to relax together.