Posted tagged ‘the new yorkers’


October 3, 2009

Never for the life of me will I ever understand people who want to be in  your world, but bring nothing to it.

Once upon a time I embarked on a relationship with someone.  She moved to town and as a favor to a friend, I welcomed her and offered myself as a friend.  Over time, I started to realize that she chose a circle of friends that didn’t include me.  No problem there, but then this weird thing seemed to start happening.  She started picking up my friends and pushing to be invited to things I know about, but a funny thing became apparent – she never invited me anywhere.

Hmm.  It’s the strangest thing to sit across from a person and they tell you all the fabulousness of their lives, but they never think to invite you to as much as a happy hour, BUT they want to be invited to your fabulous life.  I don’t get that.

So I have moved on, but every few weeks she pops up with the idea that we should go out for sushi or something.  I just think why?  I only seem to be a person you use to identify job leads or event leads.  She offers nothing…zero.  So why use my precious time to play the game?  I know there are different friends in your life, I just can’t think of one who only comes into my life to pick my brain, but offers nothing in return.

I hate to dismiss anyone, but I just don’t see keeping people around who aren’t adding value or history.  All she seems to be adding is this weird buzzard-like picking of my life.



January 9, 2009

Tonight I called my friend D. to hang out on the patio at a local restaurant. It was interesting. I’ve decided I’m going to tag D. and those I know in this circle as the New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have very distinct characteristics. I’ll try to describe them.

They don’t understand those who aren’t like them. If you didn’t attend a school of some reputation, don’t appear to make a minimum low six figures (lol), aren’t well-traveled, and can’t name drop something(!) – designer of your clothes, make of your car, important figure in the local social scene, they don’t get you. Now they’d never be so blunt as to say these things and would be offended if you even suggested any of it was true, but I dare anyone not to draw the same conclusions.

I’m in the group, but not of the group – to borrow a phrase. Actually, my being in the group is probably because I’m friends with D. I actually don’t prefer them and don’t make any effort to hang out with them. I only cross paths with them when I hang with D. or want to be amused. I’m amused because they have a perceived sense of importance. While hanging out tonight, I mentioned to one who is going to D.C. for the inauguration celebration that a friend of mine had tickets to an event if she needed tickets. I was prompty told that she had her tickets. I said oh, ok and mentioned the tickets were for the official ball(s) and who my friend was and suddenly I was bombarded with requests for more information.

*sigh* That’s my issue with the New York crew. They impart better than, but really don’t know shit. My connections come from the work I do. My role in that work is generic and unknown. I get that my industry is not familiar to most, but it requires that we gain the trust and manage a resource of those with power. As a result, I know and work with people who really are about something – not just financially or through influence, but because they are great individuals who are changing the world, sometimes just our town.

So when I hang with the New Yorkers, I am amused because they don’t really know what to do with me. I can tell by the way they act what category they want to put me in, but they can’t because they can’t quite figure out how I can be in that category and know who I know and have the access I have….and why I don’t use it or flaunt it to my advantage.

That comes from my upbringing, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s just say I’m not new to any of this.